英语作文《世界上第一台电脑》

文/刘宝彩/天津

之所以写这个标题，是因为一位网友提出“一篇英语作文 可以帮我改一改吗?”的问题。先看看网友留言说的：“现在我们是电脑评分，这个作文（见文末所附的网友写英语作文）电脑说我才84分，我们90分才合格”；且电脑说“我英语句子单一，怎么改啊？求大神解答”。为此本文作者帮助网友修改完成的英语作文如下。

Dear Mr.Johnson

I write you an e-mail expressing my dissatisfaction over the products quality about your washing-machine, which was bought in your shopping mall two weeks ago. The machine is found leaky after its use at three-day time.

Since your customers service center promises, by my having made phone call to it, that your after-sale service specialist would be at home of mine, this encouraging beginning. That has declined to such an extent that the specialist has not come to my house, until I write you now, to get me out of this difficulty in having the broken machine of mine repaired as soon as quickly.

To have your good reputation enjoyed by a little more than customers, I sincerely consider, you should not put me one of your customers in such an embarrassing position that your words are not matched by your deeds. That is to say, to my deep disappointment to you, you are doing little to justify my confidence in you most satisfactorily.

I should like to know how it is that the solution to the washing-machine problem would be successful with inferior quality to be improved or dealt with reasonably.

I should also like to know what steps you are taking to remedy the present situation and meet my requirements for this in terms of two suggestions offered to you as follows.

They are depending on two ways: one is to respond to my renewed request for you to send your service specialist to check or repair the broken machine on spot at home of mine within two-days time, the other is to ask you to repay the full money, the proceeds, of your machine I bought, if any, in default of repairing accordingly in specified time as above mentioned.

Yours faithfully,

One of your customers

Ms. AAA

由此上述英语逻辑思维写英语，可以看出：

如此完全可以改变如你所言，电脑机器说英语句子单一的现状。这是因为英语思维写英语之英语逻辑法则所决定的，即，如下：

英语作文，通过融合“内容、逻辑、语法”三位一体及其四种形式而完成写作。这四种形式为“一表、三图、四方法、六优化”，其涵义是：

㈠一表英语词语搭配规则表；

㈡三图⑴英语逻辑写作思路图、⑵递进式英语逻辑写作图、⑶英语逻辑写作操作四步骤图；

㈢四方法⑴一因一果、⑵一因多果、⑶多因一果、⑷多因多果；

㈣六优化融合于逻辑思维中的6类英语变形语句。

用三位一体及其四种形式，写出带有逻辑思维的英语作文，特别是带有暗逻辑思维的英语作文，对学生来说，具有现实的意义是非常巨大的。这种暗逻辑含义及其例句的两个方面是：

暗逻辑指：英文句子之间存在因果关系，是间接通过一定语法形式的词及词组或短语表达出来；不是直接“偏重”通过明显的（中英可以划等号的）有因果关系的逻辑词及词组或短语表达出来），如because（=因为）或so（=所以），therefore（=所以）等表达。

暗逻辑英文短语、词的写作英语，可以选择逻辑词语形式是多样而灵活的词法和句法表达出来的。这样为写作英语不但大大地提供了方便，而且写出的英语瞒有独特优势，所以提升的写作能力可达到中级以致于高级。使用不同形式的暗逻辑写作英文，具有可行的操作性，可帮助英语写作的学生思路拓展、提升英语书写竞技性、艺术性和多样性。这就是“为何逻辑思维作为世界的眼睛“看”懂你引领话语权的英文作文”之优势所在。当然，解决了英语作文写作的句子单一的问题了。以上就是答网友问——“一篇英语作文 可以帮我改一改吗?”——之我的答案。

回头看看：题主网友写作英语作文如下：

Dear Mr.Johnson

Hello, this is customer Xiao Wang speaking. l bought a washing machine at your house two weeks ago, but after only using it for three days, the washing machine leaked

I have called the maintenance center of the shopping mall, and I have communicated with the maintenance workers. They promised to come to my home to repair the washing machine, but they have not come yet.

I‘m disappointed with your family‘s attitude and I want to deal with it properly.

I have two suggestions. We can negotiate a suitable time for on-site maintenance. If the repair is troublesome, I also agree with a full refund.

习惯用汉语语言思维的人，若按照汉语特有的思能方式去写英语文章,其结果是可想而知的。因此很多人在写作时习惯于用本国语思维，然后逐句翻译成英语,在心理上烧了个大圈子,结果写出来的文章是"汉化英语(Chinglish)"。这种英语即使语法上说得过，却并不符合英语的表达方式，不是地道的。因此培养用英语思维的能力，可以从简单的英语思维着手。

总结：

英语思维操作方法如下。根据写作主题（平时讲的“语境”思想），寻原因，找结果。也就是说：一因一果；一因多果；多因一果；多因多果。在这个基础上，学生运用课堂上学过的英语五个句型及其例句或其扩展句子。如果难以总结出英语五个句式及其扩展句，那么可以上百度直接就可以找到它们的，因此扩大思考内容，又写出地道的英语作文。据此从理论和实践来说，英语作文人脑评分要胜于电脑评分的！